OK, I am announcing this day as “Humor Day”. Serious discussion can still continue, but I am inviting humor from every perspective. Good hearted, clean (please), pointed, self demeaning, all kinds of humor. No taking offense, save it for tomorrow. Let’s laugh a little and remember we are all in the same family!!

  • Share/Bookmark
This entry was posted on Friday, September 14th, 2007 at 9:56 am and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
+/- Collapse/Expand All

138 Comments(+Add)

1   Julie    http://www.loneprairie.net/lp_blog/blog.htm
September 14th, 2007 at 10:04 am

I don’t have a sense of humor.

2   Phil Miller    http://veritasfellowship.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 10:07 am

So a priest, a rabbi, and a pastor walk into a bar…nevermind.

Unfortunately, I will be in a freakin’ meeting that I have to leave for soon all afternoon, which is about the most unfunny thing I can think of. Who schedules a meeting for 1pm on a Friday?

3   Tyler    http://tearingbooksapart.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 10:08 am

So a priest, a rabbi, and a pastor walk into a bar and the bartender says “Hey, what is this; a joke?”

4   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 10:11 am

So a Calvinist and an Arminian walked into a MacDonalds. The Calvnist says to the cashier “You make the choice for me”. The Arminian gazes at the menu and says “So much to choose from!”

5   Tyler    http://tearingbooksapart.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 10:17 am

Rick, that is HOT! I LIKE it!

6   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 10:22 am

John Wesley’s mantra – There’s a Method to my Madness.

A.W. Tozer was having a swimming pool installed at his house. When shown the plans he says, “Make it a lot deeper!”.

7   Julie    http://www.loneprairie.net/lp_blog/blog.htm
September 14th, 2007 at 10:28 am

I’m not laughing yet.

8   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 10:31 am

As John Calvin and his fiance stood at the altar the preacher asked, “John, do you take this woman to be your wife?”.

John replies, “I’m not sure I can”.

9   Mike Corley    http://www.mikecorley.org
September 14th, 2007 at 10:37 am

A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
One bright little girl replied, “Because people are sleeping.”

10   David C    http://davidcho.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 10:47 am

LEAVE INGRID ALONE!

Now don’t make me go out and buy a camcorder and a yellow curtain. Just LEAVE HER ALONE.

11   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 10:48 am

Two siamese twins get saved. Eventually one espouses the health and wealth dcotrine while the other takes a vow of poverty. And you think you have problems!

12   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 10:50 am

An emergent and a Baptist get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road.

The Emergent says, “Holy Cow! What a wreck!”

The Baptist asks the Emergent, “Are you all right?”

The Emergent responds, “Just a little shaken.”

The Baptist pulls a pint of Guinness from his coat and says, “Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves.”

The Emergent is so shaken that he takes pint and downs it and says, “Well, what are we going to tell the police?”

“Well,” the Baptist says, “I don’t know what your going’ to be tellin’ them. But I’ll be tellin’ them I wasn’t the one drinkin’.”

13   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 10:52 am

Good one, Mike.

A Sunday school teacher asked her class of seven year olds, “Where does Jesus live?”

One little boy quickly raised his hand and said, “Jesus lives in my bathroom!”.

The teacher replied, “Why Johnny, why would you say that?”.

The little boy replied, “Because every morning my Daddy pounds on our bathroom door and shouts, “Jesus, are you still in there!”

14   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 10:56 am

Farmer McCarthy lived for many years with only his dog for a companion. One sad day he found his dog dead from old age. He went to his local church and asked if services could be said for his dog.

The good father said “oh no, we can’t have services for a dog here, but there’s a new age church down the street that might be wiling.”

“Father do you think $50,000 might be enough of a donation?” asked farmer McCarthy.

“Well man , why didn’t you tell me your dog was a Christian!”

15   Chris L    http://www.fishingtheabyss.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 11:06 am

A man went to his rabbi and said “Rabbi, things are so bad right now. I have no money, my children have almost nothing to eat, and have been forced into begging. Things could not be any worse. What should I do?”

His rabbi thought for a moment and said “Go buy a goat.”

Confused, the man left.

A week later, the man returned to his rabbi. “Rabbi,” he said, “Nothing has improved. I sold what little I had left to buy a goat. The stupid thing keeps us awake most of the night, it steals food from my children and it has made a mess of our house. What on earth should I do?”

“Go sell the goat”

16   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 11:14 am

Humor day, isn’t it great to just wallow in humor? I mean I could talk about the shallow scholarship of Chris Lyons but I won’t. I could be questioning the sanity of Iggy but not today. I could reveal that Tim does all the housework in his home but I will refrain. I could point out that Nathan is in a cult but I’ll pass for now. I could show Phil Johnson that there will be no photoshop graphics in heaven but why say that today?

It’s Humor Day!

I could imagine Ken worshiping next to Rob Bell in heaven but I won’t do that today. I might think about wanting to be next to Ingrid in heaven during the half hour of silence, but maybe tomorrow. And I’d love to think about walking into glory with Jim Bulbitz and discover all the new truth there, but nope, that is not for today.

Remember class, it’s Humor Day. Duck! Incoming!!

17   nathan    http://www.nathanneighbour.com
September 14th, 2007 at 11:17 am

a panda walks into a restaurant and asks for a hamburger, fries and a shake. The waiter, shocked and confused, brings the panda out his meal. The panda finishes his meal, pulls out a gun, shoots the waiter and walks out.

The detective that came, was so confused by the crime scene. There was clearly no motive. He decided that he should do some research on the killer, so he grabs an encyclopedia. then is was all clear! The entry read:

Panda: Originally from the China region. Eats shoots and leaves.

18   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 11:20 am

David….THAT was hilarious!

19   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 11:24 am

I can imagine God sitting before all the redeemed and He says,

“Before I give out my rewards I would like Suzanne Lyons to come forward!”

Suzanne walks up to the throne fearful and astounded that she was called. God continues,

“Suzanne, I give you the first and greatest reward for true faithfulness in the face of incredible suffering”.

Suzanne says, “Lord, what suffering?”

God says, “You were married to Chris Lyons, well done thou good and faithful servant!”

20   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 11:36 am

Now THIS is funny.

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=17978550

21   Chris L    http://www.fishingtheabyss.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 11:51 am

How about both funny and informative? And, of course, this one.

No worries – a friend tipped me off on these, since Suzanne won’t let me watch South Park…

22   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 11:51 am

Now I think I get David’s joke, right? Leave Brittney alone? That was funny Jimmy!

Leave Rick alone, all he did was try and steer you away from Calvin into the light of Scripture, so LEAVE RICK ALONE!!!

Did I get the gist of the joke?

23   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 14th, 2007 at 12:02 pm

Mike Corley commented here. We were all civil, he was civil. It was nice. When is Rick gonna be on the show?

24   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:05 pm

Chris L., that was a classic! I almost didn’t get offended by the “a” word, does that mean I’m growing?!

25   Zan    
September 14th, 2007 at 12:05 pm

Henry Rick,

You beat me to it! I was going to just put in a plug for my Sainthood with the above “joke” as an example. Yours was much better! I am so glad that you will all be there to give testimony to my cross that I bear!

love to you all! you have greatly lifted my day!

26   Zan    
September 14th, 2007 at 12:09 pm

Ok, I just had to de-spam my comment. You can bet Chris and I will have a chat tonight!

27   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:11 pm

FYI – Zan is short for Suzanne who of course is Chris Lyon’s wife. She is also the den mother of thos blog. Great cookies Zan!

28   Chris P.    http://jeremiahsquestion.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:11 pm

I know a worship leader for an SBC church who used to rile his congregation, as he would tell a “baptist” joke before beginning the song service.
So don’t blame me.

His favorite one was ;
“Being baptist doesn’t mean you won’t sin, it just means that you can’t enjoy it.”

He also told me this one;

A Baptist missionary became stranded after crash-landing on a desert island while on his way to his assignment. He was quite alone

Three years later, by divine intervention, he was found.
The rescue party noticed a small hut up the hill from the beach.
They asked “what is that?”
:My house”, the man replied
They then noticed another larger hut further up the hill.
“What’s that?”
The man said, “oh that’s my church”
The rescuers were quite impressed, and then noticed another structure across the way from them.
“And what is that?” they asked.
The missionary replied, “oh that?
That’s the church I used to belong to, they’re all hypocrites!.”

Good stuff here.

29   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:12 pm

Thanks Chris P., do you like my edit? I’ll get you back tomorrow!!

30   keith    http://fivepts.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:14 pm

A Christian Church minister and a Baptist minister are talking.

The Baptist minister says: “OK. What if a guy walks the isle, makes a public confession. Standing at the edge of the baptistry, he has a heart attack and dies. Is he saved?

The Christian Church minister doesn’t miss a beat: “Depends on which way he falls.”

31   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:15 pm

Keith that was great. I hope you’re listening Tim!

32   Chris P.    http://jeremiahsquestion.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:18 pm

Good addition!
Hey I do on occasion fellowship with some Baptist folk. Incognito of course. :-)

33   Chris L    http://www.fishingtheabyss.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:21 pm

The real question is – Has Julie laughed yet?

34   keith    http://fivepts.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:23 pm

Jimmy wins so far. “He’s got medals on his chest…and he’s done stuff!” That’s stinkin’ HILARIOUS!

35   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:24 pm

“The real question is – Has Julie laughed yet? ”

Not without two witnesses!

36   Chris P.    http://jeremiahsquestion.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:25 pm

Here are some good ones from my friend Chuck Girard.

When the family returned from Sunday morning service, father criticized the sermon, daughter thought the choir’s singing was atrocious, and mother found fault with the organist’s playing.
The small boy of the family piped up, “But it was a good show for a quarter, don’t you think, Dad?”

TOP TEN THINGS PEOPLE WON’T SAY WHEN THEY SEE YOUR CHRISTIAN BUMPER STICKER OR MORE SUBTLE FISH SYMBOL ON YOUR CAR:
10. “Look! Let’s stop that car and ask those folks how we can become Christians.”
9. “Don’t worry Billy, those people are Christians — they must have a good reason for driving 90 miles an hour.”
8. “What a joy to be sharing the highway with another car of Spirit-filled brothers and sisters.”
7. “Isn’t it wonderful how God blessed that Christian couple with a brand-new BMW?”
6. “Dad, how come people who drive like that don’t get thrown in jail?”
“Son, that driver is a Christian and God probably protects him from getting arrested.”
“Dad, can we get a bumper sticker like that too?”
5. “Stay clear of those folks Martha. If they get raptured, that car’s gonna be all over the road!”
4. “Oh look! That Christian woman is getting a chance to share Jesus with a police officer.”
3. “No, that’s not litter coming out of their windows Bert, it’s probably gospel tracks for the road workers.”
2. “Oh boy, we’re in trouble now! We just rear-ended one of God’s cars.”
1. “Quick Alice, honk the horn or they won’t know that we love Jesus!”

There was a man trying to understand God, so he asked Him, “God, how long is a million years to you?”
God answered, “A million years is like a minute.”
Then the man asked, “God, how much is a million dollars to you?”
God replied, “A million dollars is like a penny.”
The man thought for a short time and asked, “God, will you give me a penny?”
“In a minute,” God responded.

37   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:29 pm

Great Chris P.. I especially enjoyed the last one.

38   nathan    http://www.nathanneighbour.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:29 pm

How many Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change?!? Baptists don’t change!

39   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 14th, 2007 at 12:31 pm

There was an old man traveling through the Mountains of Tenn. It was Sunday morning and he wanted to worship. The only church he could find was Baptist. Non-plussed he decided to attend anyhow.
The pastor who had direct ties relationally to the prince of preachers gave a Hell (literal of course), fire and brimstone message about why everyone should be a Baptist.
The church then sang 1,356,874 verses of Amazing Grace. The Pastor stood up front and asked, “After hearing my compelling message today is there anyone here who isn’t Baptist.”
The Little Old Man tentatively raised his hand.
“What! How can that be? Didn’t you hear my message?”
“Well, sure I heard you, but I’m not Baptist, I’m Lutheran.”
“Why in the world would you be Lutheran?”
The old man scratched his chin and said, “Well My great granddaddy was Lutheran, my granddaddy was Lutheran, my Daddy was Lutheran, it just seems to naturally follow that I’d be Lutheran.”
The Baptist preacher’s neck was red. “No, no, no, you’ve got this all wrong. Imagine if all of your ancestors were idiots, what would that make you?”
The little old man looked puzzled, then a big grin spread across his face.
“I know! I’d be a Baptist.”

40   keith    http://fivepts.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:33 pm

Chris: Can I add one more…this actually happened to me. “Look, they’re waving at us with the One Way Jesus sign.” “Uh, son. That’s not the finger you think it is.” (Sorry, I know. A little off color)

41   keith    http://fivepts.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:35 pm

Joe: that should be “then sang ALL 1,356,874 verses of Just As I Am…with every head bowed and every eye closed!” “Amen. I see that hand…”

42   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:36 pm

Chris P,

Is that the Chuck Girard of the early CCM days?

Now he has a testimony…

Blessings,
iggy

43   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:37 pm

Theologically weighted bumper stickers
(Thanks Chris P. for the idea!)

Pray this prayer now – I believe. (for assurance call 1-800-678-9090)

Get Rich Now – Ask Jesus How

The Gospel – If You Cannot Understand It – You’re not Supposed To

Submerging into the Emerging

Jesus, Mohammed, Moses – Same Team

Bring Back Concubines

Eunuchs Rule!

44   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:37 pm

What did the Zen Buddhist Monk say to the Hotdog Vender?…

Make me One with everything.

ig

45   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:38 pm

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovahs Witness?….

Someone who knocks at your door for no apparent reason.

ig

46   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:39 pm

The story is told of the Atheist who accosted a preacher. “Do you believe in eternal life?” The preacher has no time to reply. “Well its a load of rubbish!” shouted the Atheist. “I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we die, that’s it! No eternal life, no great judgement, and no God!” The Atheist continues his assault against the preacher repetitiously and tirelessly. “Eternal life! Eternal life! Ha! “Its all pie in the sky when you die.” When I die that’s it, the end, no eternal life, no nothing. He continues, until he reaches his climax, “I will be buried six feet under when I die and that’s it! Nothing! Caput! When I die I am utterly convinced that that will be the end of me!” “Well thank God for that” replies the preacher!

ig

47   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:40 pm

Have you heard about the new shampoo for men who are going bald, called “Whats’s the Point?”

ig

48   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:40 pm

OK, keep them coming guys, this weekend I will ask everyone to vote for the bronze, silver, and gold medal jokes and anecdotes.

Hey Chris P., come on man get some of your friends to contribute, seriously. We need to be hit hard and I’m sure they got the goods! It’s Humor Day, love the one your with!

49   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:43 pm

Chris L….the SouthPark one on Mormonism was HILARIOUS…dum dum dum dum dum.. :)

50   Tim Reed    http://theotstrikesback.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:45 pm

If I may submit a joke with a Catholic flavor to it (though I deny all claims of being neo-Roman, and don’t agree with the theology behind it).

JESUS came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death. Jesus said: “Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone.”

An old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The young lady collapsed dead.

Jesus looked over towards the old lady and said: “Do you know, mother, sometimes you really tick me off.”

51   Chris P.    http://jeremiahsquestion.blogspot.com
September 14th, 2007 at 12:47 pm

iggy
yeah it is the same Chuck Girard. You are right, he does have quite a story. I met him in 1986 and have had him out to the churches I went to; first in Az, then Colorado, and he has made several trips to our church on the Navajo Nation in New Mexico.
He comes here to stock up on green chiles. :)
I reccomend his cd, Name Above All Names; extremely scriptural and prophetic.

52   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 12:51 pm

A man going to a costume party was dressed as the devil. His car broke down in front of a church having a service. He quietly made his way to the back of the auditorium. One by one the place grew quiet and everyone turned around to look at him.

A little old lady in the front pew got up and walked back to the devil dressed man. She cupped her hand over her mouth and whispered, “Just so you know, I’ve been on your side all these years.”

53   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 1:08 pm

More Bumper Stickers
*****************

Forgiveness/overrated – Revenge/underrated

“Eel symbol” (Emergents are Slippery)

There is one true God and Warren is His messenger

Go Ye into All the World and Bring Democracy
(Christians for Bush)

This Same Clinton Will Come Again
(Dems for Hillary)

Vote For Romney
(Indians for Jesus)

In Case of Rapture I Was Wrong

54   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 1:09 pm

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

55   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 1:11 pm

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there?”

“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”

56   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 1:15 pm

Ok…last one…

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small.

The little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

The teacher reiterated a whale could not
swallow a human; it was impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

57   M.G.    
September 14th, 2007 at 1:15 pm

Not to beat up on Baptists… but do you know why if you’re going fishing you should always invite two Baptists?

Because if you only invite one, he’ll drink all your beer.

58   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 1:16 pm

M.G….that is funny…right Rick? ;)

59   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 1:22 pm

Ok…one more…

A pastor is walking with Peter in heaven when he notices a door to a room that has a sign that reads, “please do not disturb”.
The pastor asks as he walks to the door, “what’s in here?”
Peter quickly stops the pastor and says, “be very quiet, this is where all the pentecostals are, they think they are the only ones here”.

Peace!

60   Tim Reed    http://theotstrikesback.com
September 14th, 2007 at 1:27 pm

Did you here about the Charismatic cannibal? He threw his hands up.

61   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 1:40 pm

Very funny!

A man gets to heaven and while walking the grounds he sees Tim Reed walking with an incredibly ugly woman with him. The man asks St. Peter who is this girl with Tim. Peter tells the man that since Tim did not lead such a sanctified life that ugly girl is his punishment.

The man continues walking and and he suddenly sees Joe Martino walking with a gorgeous woman. The man says to Peter,

“How come Joe gets such a beautiful woman, he didn’t lead such a sanctified life?”

Peter replies, “No, you misunderstand, Joe is that woman’s punishment!”

62   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 1:41 pm

Chris P,

I was looking for you email address… do you mind if we talk a bit? If so email me… thanks.

Blessings,
iggy

63   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 2:09 pm

Ouch…Rick…slammin Joe and Tim….funny tho!

64   Tim Reed    http://theotstrikesback.com
September 14th, 2007 at 2:37 pm

Oh man, I’d have to get used to hanging with ugly women because my wife is hot!

Now would be the time to start quoting verses about placing temptation in our brothers’ way.

65   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 14th, 2007 at 2:47 pm

BTW Rick…this was fun! Thanks!

66   Shua    
September 14th, 2007 at 2:49 pm

I like humor day, it fills me with the happies.

Here’s mine:

What is an agnostic, dislexic insomniac?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

67   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 2:57 pm

Shua – fifteen seconds and I finally got it. Great!

68   Shua    
September 14th, 2007 at 3:05 pm

It’s a hand grenade joke. You throw it out there, count to 10, and then the laughter happens.

69   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 14th, 2007 at 3:09 pm

Oh Rick,
There is so many jokes that I could go to, but I fear I would cross a line so I’ll just ask one question:

70   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 3:15 pm

Chris P…

btw that wasn’t a joke I really do want to talk to you a bit! LOL!
iggy

71   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 3:18 pm

Book Collaborations
****************

Your Best Life…Later.
By Mother Theresa and Joel Osteen

The Election Driven Life
By John MacArthur and Rick Warren

A Generous Hell
By Brian MacLaren and Fred Phelps

Working Through Sovereignty
By John Calvin and Charles Finney

Cigar Night
By Cosmo Kramer and Charles Spurgeon

Just As I Was
By Billy Graham and Shirley McLain

72   Scott Ragan    http://www.verumserum.com
September 14th, 2007 at 3:29 pm

Three pastors decided to take a day off to fellowship with each other and “recharge” their ministerial batteries. They decided to go fishing. After sitting in the boat for some time, enjoying the peace and quiet of God’s creation, they began to share with each other about the joys and struggles of ministry…laughing with eachother, crying with eachother, advising eachother.

After the sharing had gone on for awhile, one of the pastors looked at the other two and said, “Brothers, I can’t tell you how much I have enjoyed this time together. In fact, I really feel like I can trust you men and can open up to you about my deepest struggles.”

At this, the other two whole-heartedly agreed and said they felt the same way. The first pastor continued, “I want to tell you both something that I have not told anyone before. I have stolen from my church. When the offering is taken, I pocket money from the plates. I know I shouldn’t and I know it is wrong. Could you please pray with me about this sin in my life?”

The other two pastors bowed their heads and prayed with the first. The prayer ended and after a few minutes of silence the second pastor began to speak. “I can’t believe that I can finally open up and share my burden with someone. I have been keeping this in for so long, living with the fear that it might be discovered. I have been having an affair with a woman in my church for several months. In fact, I have also had affairs with other women in my church over the last few years. Nobody knows, but it has been killing me inside. Would you guys pray for me?”

The two listening pastors pray with the adulterous one and ended the time of prayer with a hearty “Amen!”

After several minutes of silence, the two pastors who had shared their deepest secrets looked at the third, expecting him to do the same. The third pastor didn’t meet their gaze at first but eventually looked up and said, “O.K., o.k. Fine! I’ll share. I have a problem with gossip. I can’t help myself. I do it all the time. Now if you don’t mind, I don’t want to mess with the whole time-in-prayer thing. I really want to get back in to town so I can make some phone calls!”

73   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 3:34 pm

Scott – and oh how true and funny. One man’s gossip is another man’s righteous exposé.

74   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 3:35 pm

Another book:

An Inconvenient Truth War
By Michael Moore and John MacArthur

75   Scott Ragan    http://www.verumserum.com
September 14th, 2007 at 4:37 pm

Rick,

I was actually going to end that joke with “I reallly want to get back in to town so I can make some phone calls to the prayer chain!” However, I thought that reference might be a little obscure. A good friend who is married to the worship pastor at our church jokes about the number of times that as the pastor’s wife she has heard gossip passed off as something like, “Oh, and we need to remember to pray for so-and-so because of what happened last week between her and her husband…”

As you said, funny but true (and sad).

76   Julie    http://www.loneprairie.net/lp_blog/blog.htm
September 14th, 2007 at 4:46 pm

I can’t join in this hilarity because I cannot remember punch lines.

Ever.

77   Chris P.    
September 14th, 2007 at 5:08 pm

iggy
I know it wasn’t a joke.

thecomplaintbox@hotmail.com

78   Scott    http://scotteriology.wordpress.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 5:42 pm

This is funny:

http://scotteriology.wordpress.com/2007/07/19/shocking-new-biblical-discovery/

79   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 14th, 2007 at 6:08 pm

Rick,
Somehow my question got edited, so one word:

Scoreboard

(Since you’re older I ‘ll explain that. It means Pens State mopped the field with your glee club)

80   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 7:03 pm

OK, Joe. Humor has its limits and you’ve just crossed it.

Go Irish…PLEASE!

81   Chris L    http://www.fishingtheabyss.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 8:56 pm

Rick, just speaking for many of us here in Indiana, we wish the Irish would go, as well. Preferably back to Ireland…

82   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 14th, 2007 at 9:00 pm

I believe in A Generous Scoreboard.

Please, to lose to Michigan will devastate us. We need mercy here. If the Irish lose (my mother’s maiden name was McCourt) I will think Mary has lost her power.

83   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 14th, 2007 at 9:22 pm

QWhat kind of battery does it take to shock a Michigan Wolverine?
A 1 AA

84   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 14th, 2007 at 9:24 pm

Did you hear about the Homeschool mom that was arrested in Indiana? She drove all the way to South Bend to pick up her 12 boys. Charlie Weiss said he needed all 12 of them for a few more weeks yet. 11 to **ahem** play and 1 to video tape the other teams coaches.
:)

85   Tim Reed    http://theotstrikesback.com
September 14th, 2007 at 9:32 pm

Niiiiice Joe.

How about this:

Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the University of Michigan campus. That’s the last place you would find a football player.

86   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 14th, 2007 at 9:36 pm

3 College coaches all drive the same type of car: Ohio State’s Coach, USC’s Coach, and App State’s Coach. Can you name that car?
If you said, “Lloyd” you’d be the winner!

87   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 14th, 2007 at 9:37 pm

Mr and Mrs. Carr were debating what to name their little tyke when finally Mr. Carr said, “Shoot honey, let’s just name him Lloyd and get those two L’s out of the way early.”

88   chris    http://agendalesslove.wordpress.com
September 14th, 2007 at 10:28 pm

Joe after the invitation you emailed to me and reading your UofM jokes I don’t really think we should get together.

“Hail to the Viccers”

89   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 14th, 2007 at 11:20 pm

Now, that hurts my feelings.

90   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 15th, 2007 at 12:37 am

Rick…I am an Irish fan myself…but…I don’t think they have a prayer this weekend.

Ok…being that I am in Texas and my son is a HUGE UT fan…here is the best Texas joke ever….

What keeps Texas from falling in the ocean? Oklahoma sucks! (can I say that here?)

91   Tim Reed    http://theotstrikesback.com
September 15th, 2007 at 12:41 am

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

Anywhere else and it’d be called the teethbrush.

92   robbymac    http://www.robbymac.org
September 15th, 2007 at 1:31 am

Three constants of the religious spectrum:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the promised Messiah.

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the infallible head of the Church.

3. Mennonites do not recognize each other when drinking beer at Hooter’s.

(Disclaimer: I’m married to a Mennonite. She told me the joke in the first place.)

93   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 15th, 2007 at 6:08 am

Thank you everyone for making humor day a big success. A merry heart doeth good like medicine. At this juncture I would like everyone to scan the jokes and comical statements and U-Tube links and vote for:

1. Gold Medal
2. Silver Medal
3. Bronze Medal

And if you would like a special mention.

94   Zan    
September 15th, 2007 at 1:29 pm

A couple things:

1. Henry Rick, I cannot even fathom, after how hard you talk AGAINST the RCC, that you are actually a ND fan? How on God’s green earth can that happen???

2. Jimmy, if you were a serious Texan, you would be an Aggies fan. You’ll have to answer to God for allowing your son to be a longhorn. Hope you like the heat!

3. I want the bumper sticker “In Case of Rapture I Was Wrong”. Where can I get one of those!?!

4. I don’t really get the whole baptists drinking thing. I grew up around Lutherans. My Grandma always kept “shorties” in her fridge, which was “just fine, cuz it was just a little can”. She was quite funny when she got a little tipsy!

5. my votes:

Gold:Tim Reed’s from 12:45 pm with Jesus’ mother stoning the prostitute – I could just picture the holy hand on the holy hip with a “what in the world were you thinking?” look on his face! :)

Silver: Keith from 12:35 “Joe: that should be “then sang ALL 1,356,874 verses of Just As I Am…with every head bowed and every eye closed!” “Amen. I see that hand…”

Bronze:would be a combination of Henry Rick (7:03 pm) and Chris L (8:56 pm) – I guess it’s all in where you put the comma! (go, please vs. please, go – for all you ND fans!)

You guys know I love you, right? :)
btw, HAIL PURDUE! (Is that like paying homage to Caesar? Can I say that here?)

Thanks again Rick – what is the theme next week?

95   Zan    
September 15th, 2007 at 1:34 pm

I don’t think I was supposed to participate in Humor Day. I had to de-spam my comments – Again!

CHRIIIIISTOHPERRRRRR!!!!!!

96   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 15th, 2007 at 1:50 pm

I am still undecided, however I give a thank you cameo for Mike Corley.

Special mention are:

Scott Ragan – 3:29 PM
Chris P. – 12:25 (show for a quarter)
Rick – 11:24 – Zan’s reward!

I have about 5 that I have to decide.

97   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 15th, 2007 at 3:26 pm

GOLD
Tim Reed – Throwing Stones 12:45 PM
SILVER
David C. – Leave Ingrid Alone 10:47 AM
BRONZE
Chris L. – Funny and informative 11:51 AM

98   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 15th, 2007 at 6:30 pm

It’s not humor day today in the Frueh house.

38-0

I’m beginning to think Mary is not co-redemptrix.

99   Jimmy@RelevantChristian    http://www.relevantchristian.com
September 15th, 2007 at 6:40 pm

Zan…yeah…I get a lot of flack from my son because I always loved the Aggies..(especaily when RC Slocum was coaching)…but I have always been a Notre Dame fan.

Rick…I am in morning with you my brother.

100   chris    http://agendalesslove.wordpress.com
September 15th, 2007 at 6:56 pm

Hail to the Victors Valiant…Well there hasn’t been much to sing about this year. So I’ll take it when I can get it.

ND; not an offensive touchdown yet. WOW! It’s sad really!

101   Tim Reed    http://churchvoices.com
September 15th, 2007 at 7:01 pm

How did Charlie Weiss get such a huge extension?

102   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 15th, 2007 at 7:33 pm

You people mind your own business, somehow Touchdown Jesus has been stripped of His power in South Bend.

This is a sign of the end days!

103   robbymac    http://www.robbymac.org
September 16th, 2007 at 1:31 am

Much football-related rejoicing today north of the 49th!

Bombers 34, Ti-Cats 4
Lions 40, Argonauts 7

Life is good!!

104   Shua    
September 17th, 2007 at 8:33 am

I am also saddened by the Irish loss. I went to school at ND (grad school – undergrad was at Rick’s favorite place: Calvin College). What makes it even worse is that I work with two other guys at the office, one graduated from MSU, and the other from U of M.

Oh yeah, and with my schooling history, bet you can’t guess what denomination I grew up in.

105   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 8:46 am

Shua, I knew you had green blood!

106   Shua    
September 17th, 2007 at 9:08 am

I’m just scared that after seeing some of my schooling history, Chris L will place me on moderation and my comments will be lost. As well as all my trivia points I’ve racked up from Rick (you do keep track, right?).

107   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 9:16 am

Chris went to Purdue, he has no moderation legs to stand on. That school’s mascot is a drink!

108   Chris L    http://www.fishingtheabyss.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 10:12 am

Actually, the drink came AFTER the school – not the other way around… For the Purdue fan, the only true, deep-seated “hatred” (if you will) is held for a certain school down south of here, the-school-which-must-not-be-named (at least in our household).

109   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 10:26 am

Let me consult Rob Bell for a dialectic reinvestigation of the word “hatred”. Our household actually hold out a “generous collegian” toward all Big Ten schools in that we might one day join. And we in Tampa have a soft place in our heart for Mike Alstott who graced the campus of the gold and black.

So for now we at ND accept you as legitimate, but that will not keep us from demolishing you this year, even while we are rebuilding! I am willing to wager, whoever loses must buy and ship a $20.00 or less book of the winner’s choice. You probably will want the book “The Mysticism of the Essenes”.

I might want “The Secret Choices Calvin Struggled With.”.

110   Chris L    http://www.fishingtheabyss.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 10:52 am

My younger son, Jordan, would likely inform you that his father only wagers on 100% sure things (such as ‘what is the capital of Florida?’, and not ‘who will win the Florida – Ohio State game?’*)

While he has been consistently on the losing end of this deal, his father has avoided the financial calamaties of having his heart dictate his wagering (which it inevetibly would do).

*after a severe bit of ribbing, goading and prying, I did once engage in a $1 wager (with a resident of Tampa, ironically) on a Colts-Steelers game. While it was one of the most miserable 3-hours spent of my life, the $1 bill is framed and sitting in my office, as a reminder to never do such a thing again…

111   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 10:58 am

Chris – You are entrenched in the old ways and not open to the excitement of gambling! I do not gamble but When I see ND and Purdue I will enjoy every minute of it. Irishmen drink Biolermakers for breakfast!!

112   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 17th, 2007 at 11:32 am

I’ve drank a few boilermakers in my day. Never for breakfast though. Henry, How come you wouldn’t offer me the same bet? I would have even given you the spread!

113   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 11:41 am

My friends call me Rick…

114   Chris L    http://www.fishingtheabyss.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 11:44 am

Irishmen drink Biolermakers for breakfast!!

Thus the 0-3 record? I suppose that would be a good explanation…

115   Tim Reed    http://churchvoices.com
September 17th, 2007 at 11:45 am

Why did God invent whiskey?
To keep the Irish from taking over the world.

116   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 11:48 am

I’m starting a new blog called:

Old National Championships

117   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 17th, 2007 at 11:51 am

In that case, ahem Henry, the question still stands. How can any true Christian Football Fan be a friend of yours? What business does light have with darkness? How can two walk together unless they both agree?

118   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 12:43 pm

Notre Dame

Our Lady

Scot McKnight

See the connection?

119   Tim Reed    http://churchvoices.com
September 17th, 2007 at 1:01 pm

I think you should call it Olde Nationale Championshipe.

120   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 1:25 pm

OK, here is my question from someone who clearly is computer illiterate, how did Jim copy the picture from Chris’s logo? Rick Ianiello posted a comic strip and even provided me with the http and I couldn’t past it to Judah’s Lion.

121   Tim Reed    http://churchvoices.com
September 17th, 2007 at 1:28 pm

Oh Rick *shakes head sadly*.

122   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 1:38 pm

I don’t need pity from someone who we at MENSA would not even take an application from, Tim!

123   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 17th, 2007 at 2:17 pm

…who we at MENSA…

I’ve never seen you at a meeting.

124   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 2:20 pm

“I’ve never seen you at a meeting.”

I’m in administration, the meetings are run by grunts.

125   Shua    
September 17th, 2007 at 2:27 pm

You see, as a Penn State fan, there are certain levels of MENSA that you can never be admitted into.

126   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 2:30 pm

Yes, thank you Shua. The Penn State members provide refreshments.

127   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 17th, 2007 at 3:48 pm

Typical Jesuit…overestimating one’s worth. One word: Scoreboard (can you count that high?)

128   Tim Reed    http://churchvoices.com
September 17th, 2007 at 4:07 pm

I know you’re smart enough to count at least as high as 3 losses.

129   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 4:17 pm

eins, zwei, drei…

130   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 17th, 2007 at 4:19 pm

Who do you cheer for Shua?

131   Shua    
September 17th, 2007 at 4:20 pm

ichi, ni, san…

132   Shua    
September 17th, 2007 at 4:20 pm

ND all the way. Being an Alum, I have no other choice.

133   Shua    
September 17th, 2007 at 4:21 pm

Not that it hasn’t been a rough year.

134   Shua    
September 17th, 2007 at 4:24 pm

Just to comment four times in a row: I’m not running from this discussion, but I must now go and moonlight as a molder of young(er) minds. I will be available to continue this vastly important debate tomorrow. HUMOR DAY SHALL LIVE FOREVER!!!!

135   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
September 17th, 2007 at 4:30 pm

Let’s see, Notre Dame has an enrollment 1/5 of most major universities, most athletes cannot pass the academic requirements, and we never cheat.

And yet we put a legitimate program on the field.
The modern day Book of Acts!

136   Tim Reed    http://churchvoices.com
September 17th, 2007 at 4:37 pm

And yet we put a legitimate program on the field.

That’s at least debatable.

137   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
September 17th, 2007 at 4:41 pm

When did you go there? I had a friend that played QB for them in the 90’s.

138   Shua    
September 18th, 2007 at 7:42 am

I was there from 1998-2001 for grad school.

By the way, good points, Rick.

One Trackback/Ping

  1. CRN.Info and Analysis » Only the Truly Blind Cannot See…    Sep 28 2007 / 3pm:

    [...] Apparently one of the mysterious “editors” (hiding behind anonymity, of course), is completely blind and obtuse to logic and contextual criticism. Whoever the “editor” is, also must have missed Humor Day two weeks ago (see my link midway down the thread), along with the post on my website nearly a month ago. [...]