Startling Discovery!

During this past century, the remains of a giant man – perhaps one of the Nephilim! – was discovered behind a barn in Cardiff, New York! This startling find has had people in this small northeastern town buzzing for years, but it seems that the world has not heard enough about this. We need to know about this though, so that we can know the truth of human origins!

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Cold Fusion

Hope for the future! In the face of dwindling oil supplies, Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischmann, chemical researchers at the University of Utah have recently discovered a means of producing nuclear fusion power at room temperature, potentially revolutionizing clean power production for generations to come! This amazing discovery should be able to provide energy for the human race until perpetual-motion-based power sources are further refined.

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Honesty in Politics!

George Smathers down-home honesty recently won him the Florida Senate Seat against Sen. Claude Peppers.  During the heated campaign, Smathers was able to get the truth out about his competitor:

• That he had matriculated with several young women!
• That Peppers’ brother was a practicing homosapien!
• That his sister was a New York thespian!
• That Peppers was a shameless extrovert!

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For more stories just as recent and true, see links like this one and this one.  (Shocking and as ‘true‘ as most writing at that site.)