This video is pretty self-explanatory, and I guess it shows the idiocy of clinging to our pet theologies a little too tightly. Props to Ben Witherington for pointing this gem out.
Disclaimer:Â This language may be somewhat offensive, but be assured this is a real sermon and not a joke.
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67 Comments(+Add)
I posted this about a week ago and it is still hilarious! The KJV is God’s book! Not only holding on to a vesion that has been proven to have flaws, but reading so much into the text, (I thought ODM’s didn’t do that) to say that everyone he doesn’t agree with must pee sitting down. I find that uncomfortable (sitting down I mean).
Still funny.
Germany? Look how far they’ve strayed from Luther!
I have to be honest, I don’t really get it. I think this is a joke of some sort. This has to be some sort of satire or something.
Jerry – I feel sorry for you guys who’ve never been a part of an independent baptist church. That was no joke, my preacher used to say “This sermon is like army chow, you hold your plate out and I dump on it what I’ve cooked and if you don’t like it you need it, if you like it you want more!!!”
Ah, the old days…
Oh – And he said for every mad face he sees while preaching it adds ten minutes to the message, and if he gets any negative notes during the week he will preach the same sermon next Sunday.
No joke, Jerry, we were in nirvana!
Hmmmm..And I had always thought it was just becuase one was too lazy to lift the seat!
Phil, I’m hurt. This has been on my blog. Nice to know you’re a loyal reader.
“That’s where we’re heading in this country my friend…” “we got a bunch of pastors who pee sitting down…” “pastors who pee sitting down” “we got the president of the united states who probably pees sitting down” “…and [peeing standing up] that’s what being a man is all about…”
“Its because the editors of the NIV pee sitting down…”
“well, I’m not going to pee sitting down!”
Those are my favorites.
Thanks for the comic relief…
Joe
Joe M.,
Um…yeah…I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You see I’ve been warned about your blog by some very discerning man from GRTS….
I’m very susceptible to anonymous protests I guess…
“This language may be somewhat offensive…” Nah. Not around here. Not if you’re a “real man.”
Wow. Just… wow.
You may be interested in this fellow’s church’s website:
http://www.faithfulwordbaptist.org/index.html
The statement of faith is worth a look. At least they aren’t Calvinists (joking!!!), and there’s this little ditty:
“We oppose worldliness, modernism, formalism, and liberalism.”
They must be postmodern then! Obviously emergent types…
That sermon got me so charged up, I just pulled out all three of the toilets in my house and installed urinals. Too bad if my wife and daughter don’t like ‘em! I’m gonna stand and be counted as a MUI (Man of Upright Urination)!
A Johnny Mac devotee with a trivial hobby horse? Shocking.
i’m such a man, i poop standing up!
what a moron.
travels all week and leaves his wife to raise their 4200 children alone. they don’t believe in doctors…
these people are a true exercise in stupidity.
Wow – that made me so happy – my wife came into my office to see why I was laughing rather than working. Wonderful – that is why I am glad I am an Anglican. He he he he.
So if I have a medical issue that requires me to sit then that makes me part of the problem of america? hmmmmmmm
Those guys back in KJV days got the bible right, which version though wasn’t there like 11 revisions. I guess it is the only one the God let pass through the fire of preachers(real men) like this guy.
Wait, what if I pee while I am sitting down doing my other business?????should I do the other then stand up to pee? very important issue here, God put it in the bible so we need to make sure we get this right.
Tim: I guess I missed the ref to JM…oh, wait. I wasn’t LOOKING for it! My mistake.
Forest and trees, friend, forest and trees.
1. This video has been on the net for quite some time.
2. Your criticism of odm blogs i.e. searching the internet for any little tidbit to use against the emerging types etc is now invalid.
3.nator made a comment linking odms to this ifb moron and no one here bothered to address it. So much for guilt by association. As a matter of fact nator carries it to a new level as he is the one doing the associating. At least the odm blogs use actual examples of the post modern dorks standing on a platform with one another, in unity.
4. I love to see males who need their wives to defend them, trying to act like men.
5. I believe that all of you still wet the bed.
Typical ODM attitude. The “you do it too” defense is justification to do whatever you want.
Nator is a commenter, which is a distinct difference from a writer. Often things in comments aren’t addressed for a variety of reasons. If you’re going to hold blogs responsible for comments then I suggest you start with A Little LEaven who had bunches of comments on one thread that was making stuff up about XXXChurch (claiming they were actually active users of porn, and were trying to get kids interested in it). That goes beyond associating, and straight into lies.
Also, ODMs attribute to E/Es, PDL, and RCCs all kinds of things that aren’t directly related to them. This doesn’t come from commenters, it is placed directly on their sites by their writers.
I’m not offended by the video’s language. If you’re offended by it, then it’s not about biblical standards, it’s about the fact that language changes and sensibilities about language change over time. Thus “dynamic equivalence” is ok to some people if it “sanitizes” the text for their sub-cultural preferences….
um….can you say: “contextualization”?
The real point is that that dude goes off and uses the text to assert his view of how culture should absolutely be aligned with his particular sub-culture.
Personally, I enjoy peeing sitting down from time to time…there’s a day coming when I probably won’t be able to and I like the moment to rest. But if a wall catcher is the first thing I see, I go there…
The real question is:
Does any of this really matter?
It’s just funny…
Some of you take yourselves and the silliness of others waaaaaaay to seriously.
Bed wetting? Really? I just laughed so hard, I got a dirty look from someone nearby….
real men sleep standing up, like livestock! crazy…
strong women are only jealous of men who can pee standing up, but choose padded seating instead!
good morning.
But if the tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it… 8^)>
then the tree must be European?
So, I’m still a bit confused, I guess I’ll say this to Rick since he answered, is this a joke or not? I think the guy just liked using salty language and jsutifying it.
Oh, and what does this have to do with the Gospel? I really don’t see the connection between the text and that application. Is this the sort of sermon that will lead someone to Jesus Christ, teach them about Justification, Propitiation, Sanctification, etc.? What was the context of this message since this was an excerpt.
I think I’m missing the humor and I’m not trying to be difficult.
Help me Rick. PS–what’s this got to do with a Baptist Church? Man, I’m really lost here.
thanks,
jerry
And if it hits a mime, does anyone care?
My regards to Gary Larson.
Jerry,
This sermon is real. Go to the man’s YouTube page and then to his church’s page.
ah, Forest Mimes…
i caught a Forest Mime once, but my Mom made me get rid of it because “it’s cruel to keep Mimes in captivity.”
I’m surprised no one’s commented on what to me is one of the funniest things in the video – the fact that this dude seems to think that the chapter and verse numbering of the Bible is somehow inspired and meaningful in and of itself. I mean seriously, he must believe that the God himself inserted the numbers thousands of years after the original writing.
Phil,
I thought that was funny at first, but considering the KJV came around over 1,000 years after the manuscripts and he thinks those are inspired, I just chalked it all up together.
At least we know what his toilet habits whilst in Germany are. I can sleep better just knowing that.
shammah,
I think you to unwind a bit. I actually didn’t go searching anywhere for this. I just stumbled upon it (and I was late to the party it seems) on BWIII’s blog, and I thought it was funny, so I posted it here. I’m not trying to make a statement against anyone at all, other than maybe the guy in the video. If you can’t see the idiocy in this “sermon”, than perhaps you need to do a little more Bible study instead of spreading ad hominem attacks.
i just want to know what’s going through his mind while he’s peeing standing up in Germany…
i mean, obviously he’s not involuntarily counting like so many of us do.
i’m guessing it’s some kind of running self-pep-talk like “yeah, look at you, Pastor! you’re a man! you don’t have to do what Angela Merkel says! big man. take that, nelly European pee-sitters!”
and then he’s done and forgets what he was so mad about in the first place. until he finishes his next round of Yoo-Hoos and the righteous anger starts all over again.
Ben,
ODM
ODM
ODM
ODM
The energizer bunny. They keep going, and going and …
Yep, but it is still funny!
Tell that to my search engine and to Tim and to me and to… man talk about being naive… have you read anything some of these ODM’s dig up? It is either years old or out of context or totally misunderstood. I have one blog totally just against me! (Hmmm it is by a “ben” also…)
The fact is on some levels the IFB is much freer in their understanding of “Grace” and a few other things… I think that nator and myself sometimes uses GBA jokingly in hopes that some will see it as just as stupid as you see it hear. I see it all the time from ODM’s and NO ONE ADDRESSES IT!!!! LOL!
NO, I think it is loving wives being loving wives… sometime to good and sometimes to bad. But, even “Paula” and “Ingrid” are wives and rant on and on… so where are their husbands? Sitting down somewhere?
Maybe some do! And what of it other than the lack of compassion you show by being so insensitive against bed wetters! Who are you attacking next… the blacks? Come to think about it, I do not know of one single black ODM… but they seem to attack “black” pastors at times… so… is there an underlying racism there? Just thinking out loud not accusing… LOL!
iggy
ah iggy out from under your rock?
I am pointing out that the same methods you criticize, are the same that you use.
It is obvious that nator bought in the term odm without any foundation. No one here confronts it as it fits your agenda.
Tim Reed made it clear that the .info administrators only speak to specific commenters. It would seem that he means only those who disagree with .info polemic.
Now onto your sophomoric tactics.
How did race get into this conversation? I show no lack of compassion for bedwetters, other than insulting them by comparing them to you.
Tim utilizes the strawman he attacks, and you create a new one all together. Truly you are a broken record. (Errrr sorry cd, this is the post modern world you know.)
It is evident that this blog is a ghost town with virtually no readership. It is also evident that boredom leads to childsplay.
ha ha i didn’t realize Iggy had mentioned race, so i assumed this person was offended that i had referred to Yoo-Hoo, rather than a beverage that comes in many colours, like Diet Snapple.
“ben”
Yawn… yep I am bored… but have lot’s to do instead of dealing with your child’s play..
iggy
I don’t know how to break this, but under his scripture memory section on the web page, it mentions REPEATING verses of scripture up to 100 times! Mystic!!!
Besides, I can mention ODM anytime I want to! You can’t stop me. (unless you block my post and then I can’t do anything about it0
com�pas�sion �� (km-pshn) KEY �
NOUN:
Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it. See Synonyms at pity.
So you make my point that you lack compassion… you also lack Grace…
iggy
I missed this when I listened to it – so’s I don’t have to listen again… what did he say?
Neil
Neil,
It was when he was talking about how numbers mean different things in Scripture. He then spouted off chapter and verse numbers to prove his point – I think he said 5 was the number of death, and he said something like “like in Genesis 5:5. Genesis 5:5 talks about the death of Adam, but doesn’t mention anything about the number 5.
Link
Both these accusations are false. We have confronted comments as well as each other as posters.
Your accusation of GBA is also false and therefore your whole argument of our guilt is moot. You pointed out “…but reading so much into the text, (I thought ODM’s didn’t do that) to say that everyone he doesn’t agree with must pee sitting down.” as GBA – It is not.
It is a comparison, a pointing out of a resemblance of tactics, but no guilt was associated to any ODM based on what the KJVer said.
Neil
OMG….what possible spiritual good did this sermon do anyone?
That is freaking hilarious….kind of reminds me of a church I visited once.
Well, Jimmy, see, there was a time in that man’s church when people didn’t think about God the entire time they were in the bathroom. Just like Europeans, all of whom are obviously godless heathen bastard muppet people.
The genius of this man comes in his ability to see a sign written in German instructing him to pop a squat, and be able to equate that sign with all of the evils of the world, up to AND INCLUDING certain naughty Bible translators.
I dunno. I think it was YouTube time at the adult daycare, and they decided to play “church.”
Anyone catch his rant about Newspring? Tell me that doesn’t sound like an ODM.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S99oKuZrxcI
I love the first 10 seconds where he goes, “You’re not gonna like this but you haven’t liked the sermon to this point, so what do I care?” and then when he goes off on the whole numerology thing…that kills me too.
“You do it too-u! You do it too-u!” (In a sing-songy playground voice)….
So tired.
It’s like the Fox News philosophy: If we repeat a claim enough times people will hopefully believe it.
hehehe.
touche.
or, “if we make something our slogan (Fair’n'balanced), then people will be too stupid to realize that everything we do is the absolute antithesis of our slogan. silly ‘tarded Americans!”
(of course, the philosophy totally works.)
You guys are all missing the point (and so did this preacher).
Talk of toilets and urinals is totally bogus and non-Biblical. The passage clearly references “he that p*sseth against the wall“. Why is this guy talking about going into bathrooms? There are walls all over the place!
What do you mean “indecent exposure”, officer? I’m just trying to be Biblical here. This is clearly persecution!!
At the feeding of the five thousand were there any walls? So men just went on the ground. What sissies!
In FACT, Brendt, if we hold to the regulative principle:
The use of toilets is completely un-biblical! If you use one then it has to be a large communal room with a bunch of holes cut in the benches along the wall.
Personally each of the verses are about those who will die…so I think that the point is that if a man pisseth against the wall God is more likely to smite him!
Talk about point missed!
iggy
Therefore, pop a squat, boys, God is watching!
I will mark this on this thread and one day you will see it happen. The Clintons are holding the secret weapon. Barak’s pastor is an abrasive racist who curses s*** on the pulpit and spews unbelieveable unchristian venum. And he HATES America. Go to you tube and see where Barak goes to church. He makes the guy in Phil’s video look like a peace maker!
I’ll make it easy for all you politcal hounds!
OK, for those political enthusiasts out there, I will attempt to further enlighten you as to how easily we can be deceived. Barak Obama has belonged to the same church for TWENTY years and his pastor’s name is Jeremiah Wright. He is a hate filled racist that hates white people, hates America, and preaches that Jesus was a black man who was oppressed by rich white men.
Below is the You Tube site with some of his messages, but I warn you, he curses from the pulpit (i.e. sh**) so guard your heart and do not let racism enter into it. Ask yourself this question, “How could Barak sit under him for 20 years and not agree with him? And why hasn’t this come out more forcefully in the press? The Clinton’s will leak this a week before the Democratic Convention and watch the fireworks. I am stocking up on popcorn that week because it promises to be a great spectacle.
Oh well, I thought I might further burst your political bubble. All is vanity and vexation of spirit!
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Jeremiah+Wright&search_type=
Rick, Rick, Rick.
if this was a “secret” weapon, Clinton wouldn’t be desperately attacking him all over the place with her lies. as it is, she continues to spiral down into baseless negativity, because she knows on some level she has no chance of winning legally. morons like Hannity keep trying to make this an issue, but it doesn’t fly because it’s actually nothing. it’s his church. big deal.
Hannity’s question about replacing “black” values and “black” community with the word “white” was kind of stupid, too. lots of churches minister to specific communities. Dutch, Korean, Chinese, black, etc. doesn’t mean they don’t welcome others just the same. in fact, i’ve read/seen lots of accounts from white people that go to church there, and they all talk about how much they love it, and how welcoming it is.
this is all a bunch of nothing. in the Hannity YouTube video, the only thing i see is Wright making Hannity look like a moron. yes, it’s a predominantly black church, but, living in Memphis, which is 65% majority black, i can see that their message is pretty typical – they serve the needs of the community where they are.
what’s funny is that lots of white people go to that church because it’s such a great church.
the denomination isn’t historically black either. one of my churches is UCC, and it’s quite diverse.
as to the question of how Obama could be under this man for 20 years and not agree with him – well, i’ve had lots of pastors in my life, and i summarily disagree with most of them on most things.
this is just a tired way to go after Obama because he actually represents a break from the systems that have brought us to the bleak moment in American history where we find ourselves.
the people who spread this crap around are the real racists.
in case people don’t believe me, this is one of the top debunked stories on Snopes right now.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/church.asp
while we’re YouTubing, here’s a 3 minute video of a white member, a UCC minister herself, talking about what Trinity is REALLY like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioaChVw_pUw
Now, in fairness, Sen. Obama has written an article on the Huffington Post condemning Wright’s comments and saying they angered and pained him. He futher said that those views were in stark contrast to his own and that Obama never heard those statements that are being played.
So Evan, Obama himself condemned Wright’s words, he did not attempt to defend them. I will take Obama at his word and to his credit he did the correct thing. Even when someone you like/love says things that are unbiblical we must have enough character to denounce them regardless of the source.
I admire him for doing right.
i like the way he characterized him as a beloved uncle who sometimes says crazy things.
from that perspective, it’s like “oh, yeah, i get it.”
what’s weird is the free pass McCain is getting re: Hagee and Rod Parsley, who have said equally repugnant things throughout their careers.
Politics and religion – poison!
How close to the wall do we have to pee to ensure that we’re truly “real men”?
oh, the closer you get, your manliness actually DECLINES, due to the fact that you’re not proving anything by being able to hit the wall from that minuscule distance.
now, to be able to stand on a rooftop and accurately spell your name in pee on the wall of the building across the street, IN CURSIVE…
THAT is a man.
unless you dot an ‘i’ with a heart, of course.
then, you are undoubtedly a crude, though highly skilled, woman.