Ingrid’s got the book of life. And while she doesn’t reveal who’s in it, she does reveal who’s out:

The term evangelical now can mean anything from a homosexual and his lover at an Evangelicals Concerned support group in New York City, Jim Wallis waving around Karl Marx’s Das Kapital , Shirley Dobson and her Reform Jewish universalist Rabbi, Greg Boyd and his hand-wringing semi-God, Brian McLaren and his hell-free, atonement-free, New Age Shift crusade, Rick Warren and his Purpose Driven madness, Rob Bell and his “human-product” Bible, Mark Driscoll and his toilet mouth pastorate, Doug Pagitt and his Desperate Housewives theology, and so forth and so on.

So to recap the following groups are just plain Jesus hatin’, hell bound miscreants:
Democratic/politically liberal Christians in the vein of Jim Wallis
Traditional, baby boomer Christians in the vein of Focus on the Family (Sorry dad)
Younger evangelicals in the vein of Greg Boyd.
Emerging/Emergents in the vein of Brian McLaren and Doug Pagitt.
Younger Reformed Christians in the vein of Mark Driscoll
1st Century wannabe Christians in the vein of Rob Bell.

Which pretty much just leaves Ingrid and her blogroll. Well maybe, after all she finished the sentence of condemnation with “and so on and so forth”. It kind of reminds me of the old joke:

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, “Denomination?” The man says, “emerging.” St. Peter looks down his list, and says, “Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.”

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. “Denomination?” “Non-denominational.” “Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8.”The man says, “I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?” St. Peter tells him, “Well, the ODMs are in room 8, and they think they’re the only ones here.”

Sometimes I wonder if Jesus could get into heaven if Ingrid was the gatekeeper.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at 11:06 am and is filed under Ingrid, ODM Writers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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11 Comments(+Add)

1   JohnD    
May 8th, 2008 at 1:16 pm

LOL! My version of the same joke in response to the same Ingrid over a year ago.

2   Break the Terror    http://breaktheterror.wordpress.com
May 8th, 2008 at 1:36 pm

Due to Jesus’s probable long lair and possible flowing robes, Ingrid would likely brand him a transvestite, and no, would probably not let him into heaven.

Plus, you never know what kind of miscreants Jesus is going to bring with him, but there might be dancers or play-acters, or Goody Cole, who did not float, but details, details!

3   Joe C    http://www.joe4gzus.blogspot.com
May 8th, 2008 at 5:14 pm

Evan,

Jesus had short hair, as was the Jewish custom of the day.

But the flowing robes would be WAY too riskaay….

And all those prostitutes He hung around, and followed Him, that’d probably get Him barred too…ya think?

The joke was fabulous. BTW.

Joe

4   Jeff from Sterling Heights, MI    
May 8th, 2008 at 7:08 pm

Many are called but Ingrid and her ODM clan are chosen….

5   Break the Terror    http://breaktheterror.wordpress.com
May 8th, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Jesus had short hair, as was the Jewish custom of the day.

what, you mean he didn’t look like Ted Nugent? but that picture that people put on their walls looks like Ted Nugent!

he also probably had dark skin.

6   hello    
May 8th, 2008 at 9:58 pm

Question…is this site on Ingrid’s blogroll? Sure seems that way with all the entries about her blog…in my book that makes this site very Ingridi-ish (just on the opposite side of the field)…wouldn’t you say?

7   Phil Miller    http://pmwords.blogspot.com
May 9th, 2008 at 8:48 am

That paragraph might just set the record for the number of straw men one can insert into an article. It’s hard to know where to start refuting such drivel. It just show a complete ignorance of the issues, and displays that she hasn’t really read any of the stuff she’s trashing.

I’d like Ingrid to show where Greg Boyd has ever portrayed God as “hand-wringing”. Where does Brian McLaren say there is no hell or he doesn’t believe the atonement? It’s things like this that I consider borderline dishonest. It’s one thing to disagree, but it’s another to make up stuff about people.

8   Neil    
May 9th, 2008 at 9:04 am

Hello,

If you check out the pages on why this site is maintained you will find that you are on the right track. We are not Ingrid-ish, in the sense of being like her (or any other ODM [On-line Discernment Ministry]). But she does show up a lot since we have so much work to do correcting her and pointing out her uncharitable postings.

Neil

9   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
May 9th, 2008 at 9:05 am

“Where does Brian McLaren say there is no hell or he doesn’t believe the atonement? ”

One of many examples cited by some critics is Brian’s equating the traditional understanding of the gospel with “justification by grace through faith in the finished atoning work of Christ on the cross,” suggesting instead that the definition of the gospel is directly related to the understanding of the Kingdom of God. (^ “Interview about previous “A letter to friends of Emergent”", Out of Ur blog.)

From the conservative wing of the emerging church movement Mark Driscoll complained about McLaren’s calling God a “chick”, his advocacy of open theism, and his downplaying of substitutionary atonement, and his implicit denial of hell (Driscoll, Mark. Welcome note at the Resurgence blog)

Phil, MacLaren is probably one preacher you should not defend. Even Michael Spencer dismisses his “theology”.

10   Phil Miller    http://pmwords.blogspot.com
May 9th, 2008 at 9:24 am

Well, Rick, honestly my theology is closer to McLaren’s than Driscoll’s. I pretty much consider myself an open theist if I’m forced to make a distinction, so, yeah, those things aren’t what bothers me about McLaren. I do think he tends to be a little too PC sometimes, and I think he’s a bit too leftist politically. I’m not comfortable calling him an apostate, though. He’s never denied Christ. He’s never denied the resurrection. He doesn’t deny the atonement, and he actually has a pretty good grasp on it, from what I can see.

In his new book, Finding Our Way Again: The Return of the Ancient Practices, he affirms a lot of the stuff people accuse him of denying.

The fact is, I’ve read Driscoll’s stuff and McLaren’s, and McLaren’s has been much more beneficial to me. Driscoll is good for a quick laugh, but McLaren makes me think.

11   David C    http://davidcho.blogspot.com
May 9th, 2008 at 4:05 pm

I cannot believe you guys haven’t blogged about Ingrid’s very public decline of Rick Warren’s invitation to an all expenses paid for trip to a Purpose Driven conference.

Would have loved to have met Ingrid in person since I work just a few blocks from Saddleback. She then could have driven just over an hour to visit John MacArthur’s church.

Interesting to contrast Warren’s gracious invitation with Ingrid’s response dripping with vitriol and anger.

I forget his name, but didn’t a famous ODM guy with a radio show take his time to visit Mark Driscoll? What is Ingrid afraid of?