A Manly KincadeBrant Hansen has truly outdone himself this time, demonstrating what awesomely awesome parody looks like.  In a week that I can use the extra laughs, Brant has delivered.

Apparently, Brant visited a “Books-a-Million” this past week, and his visit required Extra Discernment (TM), particularly when he picked up the John MacArthur Study Bible.

There’s this “John MacArthur Study Bible”.  I don’t know much about John MacArthur, but apparently, he likes to kinda dilute stuff.  I flipped open to Matthew 23, where, as everyone knows, Jesus climbs the turnbuckles, and goes off the top rope onto the religious teachers who thought they were big stuff.  Or, at least, that’s what I thought:

But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

MacArthur says that doesn’t really catch it, though.  Jesus really meant that religious teachers shouldn’t tie up loads that aren’t Bible-based and put them on people’s backs.  Biblical loads?  Go ahead.

So I guess Jesus wasn’t so rad after all.  He was just saying they were putting the wrong loads on people.  Bible-centered weights?  Well, hey, you need those, and that’s what we teachers are for, I reckon.

And, as only a denizen of Kamp Krusty can do, Brant finishes up with a flourish that ought to be recognizable to any casual ADM reader:

I don’t want to criticize this fellow’s Study Bible. Everybody has a God-given right, in this country, by golly, to write their own Study Bible, and I will defend that right — the one to write a Study Bible — to the death. I just don’t think people should water down the Truth. They shouldn’t make it less dangerous, or less scandalous, or less offensive, or less shocking. Or less bold. Or — you know– less manly. I’m not saying he’ s a false teacher, but beware false teachers.

That’s my opinion.


And even the comments are worth a good read, with this gem by Kate:

Kind of a wimpy way to critique it, if you ask me. A less wimpy way to put it would be, “Those who read and follow the notes contained in The MacArthur Study Bible will be led to the same place MacArthur is going, that is, the blackness of darkness (2 Peter 2:17), where all unbelievers go, the lake of fire (Revelation 21:8).”

(I googled MacArthur and this http://www.atruechurch.info/macstudybible.html is what came up)

Who knew that even MacArthur had been consigned to outer darkness by his own ADM’s?

[Well, other than the all-knowing Template of General Disdain, Chris P...]

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009 at 6:48 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
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10 Comments(+Add)

1   Rick Frueh    http://http?//followingjudahslion.com
February 24th, 2009 at 11:21 am

I don’t get it, Chris. Could you provide a synopsis of the irony?

2   Coop    http://whileromeburns.blogspot.com
February 24th, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Ah yes, A True Church… like Apprising, only more-so.

3   Chris L    http://www.fishingtheabyss.com/
February 24th, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Very good, Coop. I see you are an Extra Discerning(TM) Christian…

4   Brant    
February 24th, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Dude, thanks for getting it. I write for my own amusement sometimes, and confuse people.

I’m commenting, because that graphic is HILARIOUS. I can NOT stop laughing. Where’d you get it?

Oh my word, that’s funny.

5   Christian P    http://www.churchvoices.com
February 24th, 2009 at 3:37 pm

First of all,

Brant, it is sad that you had to explain that post. The post was hilarious, also funny was that guy that said he’s read some of your other stuff and didn’t get this post. That’s actually possibly even more funny than the post.


Did we just sick Ken Silva on Brant?

That too, is funny.

Have fun with that Brant. :)

6   Chris L    http://www.fishingtheabyss.com/
February 24th, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Brant – I pulled the graphic off of a FARK comment thread several months ago, after calling a medic to help me up off of the floor in recovery from my laughing fit…

7   Rick Frueh    http://http?//followingjudahslion.com
February 25th, 2009 at 8:49 am

OK Chris, please explain something to me.A reporter vsisited a revival in a Texas church and here is his report.

But now, in this post here is Ingrid (of all people) calling it a “possibly actionable hit piece” about the event. Here is what I am asking you:

* Is this actually a hit piece? Really? (not to mention measured against Ingrid’s hit pieces)

* Even the pastor said he would not do it again, so where’s the hit?

* At the end, the pastor said he did not know what the guest preacher meant about saying yoga is the devil’s tool.

* Where is the “yellow journalism” in the article?

The rally is called “code blue” which is you read the website and listen to the audios is a laundry list of what is wrong with those “other” curches and has little in depth dealing with the sins of the host church.

So please point out to me the unfairness in the writers article, even if we disagree with him. I just love these ecclesiastical rallies that get the “base” all stirred up before they head to Denny’s for a post rally snack. Like spiritual Rush Limbaughs, the overwhelming content of their “ministry” is delineating and excoriating the shortcomings and sins of others.

I guess holding nationwide meetings entitled “Jesus – the Savior of the World” just doesn’t have the same zip, and would not draw the “orthodox/faithful/fundamentalist” crowd either. I really don’t desire days of fasting and prayer and with several meetings that lift up the Son of God and His redemption of grace – no – I want to hear about yoga, and motorcycles, and clowns, and moral failures, and translation issues, and young earth theories, and statistics about who believes what, that will bring revival to our world.

Talk about losing your spiritual compass, which should always point to Jesus the Christ.

8   Steve    
February 25th, 2009 at 10:40 am

Comparing A true church to ADMs like Apprising and SoL is like comparing a cup of sour milk to an outhouse that’s been frequented by a planeload of overweight Samoans after gorging themselves at an all-night corn and nut festival.

A true church, for all intents and purposes, believes that they are the sole practitioners of the legitimate Christian faith on Earth today. They also have great difficulty naming any legitimate Christians since the apostolic era. Augustine, Origen, Calvin, Arminius, Luther, the council of Nicea – all in hell right now.

9   Rick Frueh    http://http?//followingjudahslion.com
February 25th, 2009 at 10:46 am

#8 – Ah, a voice of reason. :cool:

10   nc    
February 25th, 2009 at 11:08 am


but I love the vivid imagery.