I have a friend who doesn’t really believe there is such a thing as love. Oh, I don’t think that she thinks love doesn’t exist, just that in one way or another we are thoroughly incapable of the sort of love the Scripture talks about so often. We have debated this point often. I’m sure I always come away unsettled by the discussion–either because she’s right or because I don’t want to admit it. Either way, it’s become difficult to dismiss her judgment: Does love really exist?
One of the first sermons I ever preached (in first year homiletics) was about love. I childishly, naively, spoke of the glories of love and how love is like a diamond and many faceted. I remember extolling the virtue of love and speaking of its grandeur and magnificence. But it’s easy to write and speak about something being so grand when you have never experienced that part of it that is utterly disappointing. And love breaks the heart at times. There are times when love disappoints.
I am nearly 40 and I have loved and been loved. My mother still loves me; so does my wife. My sons do, for the most part. My dad does. My brothers too. I have many friends who love me. (I know I’m selfishly concerned about the love others have for me. It’s a two way street, I know.) I’m like Peter Gabriel who sang, “I love to be loved.” Yet, too, I love these I have mentioned deeply.
But still our hearts break and heal and break again–sometimes they stay broken. I almost let myself believe, in agreement with my friend, that love really doesn’t exist. Because of… hurt, hate, and helplessness. Here, then, is my thought, or question, for the day:
Why is it so easy to get angry at, or to resent, or simply to grow indifferent toward the very people we once loved? (John Eldredge, Waking the Dead, 113)
And if that isn’t enough, he continues:
A common story, I’m sorry to say. The worst blows typically come from family. That’s where we start our journey of the heart, and that’s where we are most vulnerable. (115)
So, if you want to go further with this, then click below to read the rest, but don’t be surprised if you don’t find what you are looking for. I have no answers here, only questions, and questions that cut deep into the heart of the matter.
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